devikas

random conversations in cyberspeace - muse missing in action

2008-08-27T12:31:00.001-04:00

a: heyyy
b: hi
b: do i know you?
a: idiot!
b: a?
a: :) howdy?
b: hey babe...looooooong time .. niiice to see you ..
a: ya how are you?
b: life goes on ... with friends reminding you of it
a: huh?
b: its over now
a: life is alive and kicking in your writing
b: it feels like life is over marriage has ended everything
a: why did you get married?kisne bola tha shaadi karne ko?
b: what writing? i haven't written in four years
a: how come?
b: No inspiration no topic interests me enuff to write bout it its all boring marriage as you may or may not know
a: hmm .. i feel like that sometimes - like ive lost my mojo or something. thankfully i've a few grounded friends who yank me off the pity-pot! :-p
b: i'm not blaming anyone for my life.. a guy has the "write" to crib no? :)
a: of course!
b: i thought your mojo was a year old! :)
a: i learnt a long time ago that an external locus of control was er.. umm not a great idea ...
a: he is not my mojo, just my latest love
a: and i thank hormones oxytocin, a few hard-working guardian angels for that
b: maybe you can suggest something - do me a favor suggest a topic every week for me to write about on my blog
a: the love, not him
a: i am a dukhi aatma - can only think of dukhiyaari things
a: dangerous
b: perfect thats exactly what i want
a: dangerous
a : write about the 40 billion spent on the olympics
a: or about mz clintons speech at the democratic convention
b: oh man full serious topics... ok i guess i asked for it..:p
a: you don't have to write something serious .. take it someplace else ... at least you'll have a lead, a start, no ?
b: hmm
a: better still copy-paste this convo and put it up on your blog
b: and get a divorce? :)
a: from what you just said it doesn't seem like you'd be too unhappy about the prospect
b: you do it and i'll write you a counter
b: it was soooooooooooo nice talking to you after sooo long
b: back to @#$% all work
b: keep pleasantly surprising me like this

Words

2008-08-27T12:24:00.000-04:00

Words. Like sand in a sandbox.
Playing. Tossing them, tasting them, feeling sensing them.
Like soft hair on my face.
Building castles and moulding shapes, drawing lines and then washing it all away
Dreams and fantasies and stories and life.
Captured in your words.

Some thing old ... something new ...

2008-04-04T00:51:00.000-04:00

This blog is definitely something old.... and I have been terrible about not posting often enough! And now i'm adding to it by creating a new blog for my now seven-month old doll of a baby!
Do visit, comment, suggest!
http://eshanspace.blogspot.com/

games n things

2006-11-29T10:39:00.000-05:00

so im awake again ... overslept again ... after once again beating my own super high score on a mutlicoloured 2 inch by 3 inch screen which i know one of these days is going to annouce the end of my myopic eyes. the game is ka-glom and only for use by the crackberry users or addicts. similar to tetris with things falling and the aim beign to connect them, avoid a pile up and subsequent death. the falling htings are coloured( blue, green, red, beige, black) balls and cubes - join four balls( not cubes) and detonate them and wait for some more.... i think carpel tunnel syndrome is on its way here...
of course i am so sleepy there are probably several grammatical and spelling errors in this post... maafi
oh and by the way not only am i going insane with these silly computer games .. i am also far away from real games that require more than just an efficient thumb and the flick of the wrist.
lying in front of me is a gallant effort at fitness - i actually printed out a fifteen minutes do-it-at-home excercise regime( i know im too lazy and not motivated enuff to go to gym for anything longer than fifteen minutes) i think i did it once for five minutes only because the tv was in front of me and i wanted to see the end of friends.
so that didnt do too well ... and of course the cheese intake continues so yeah i'm doing good on the health scale

Music

2006-11-26T20:14:00.000-05:00

and life is full of music
hooked onto two songs from Guru - tere bina and aye hairathe ...
tere bina - love the melody, very folksy, yet sufi-qawaali-ish, giving me a headache now ive listened it to it so many times! gaayaki too .. d-lish! chinmayi and rahman have done it sooo effortlessly - its true music IS food for the soul - so powerful no? how a song all of 4-5 minutes can do sooo much, mental emotional , physical spiritual to a person? very powerful music is.
anyways getting back to good music
aye hairathe - hariharans voice is what one would describe as "makhmali" in hindi -smooth, soft, like the finest cotton or the warmest of satin or silk - yumm.... i look forward to seeing the picturisation of the song - the 1 min trailer on youtube is hardly an indicator!
:)
its funny though that while my "loyalties" should lie with mayya, the song i actually did help with as dialect coach for maryem, i'm not as addicted to it, as these others.. despite it being soooo catchy and the blend of middle eastern and gujarati is very interesting and attractive... i guess i've waited so long to hear the final product its no longer as addictive as it was when i heard it over and over in the studio in Toronto trying to guide Maryem with the intonations, and pronunciation and watching ar rahman become so animated and alive as his composition came to life with tollers voice
life is full of music and i only want more....

Monsoons and more...

2006-03-09T12:13:00.000-05:00

Its was raining here in the big TO and warm and cozy in my office I thought of the Bombay monsoons.

I used to travel by bus train rickshaw and battle the sometimes heavy raindrops in order to get to my destination. The days spent huddling under an umbrella, or in a cab, or rickshaw, without any heating in any of these vehicles, just body heat and the spirit of youth keeping us warm!

The sometimes warm sometimes nippy sea sprays, the jumping in puddles to splash water at a friend, even the twigs we used as "boats" when I was even younger; boat races in the gutters close to home, with my mother despairing that I would get wet and get sick!

Reaching work soaked to the skin and in a filmi style squeezing my kurta to get as much water out as possible! The rain dance my neighbours and I did, sort of a strange ritual to welcome the first downpour in the afternoon, with overcast skies and suspicious neighbours in the apartment building next door wondering what this spoilt brat form the bungalow was doing on her terrace in the rain!

The bhuttas (corn on the cob) with salt, chilli powder and tangy lemon juice, it made one’s body alive. Maybe that’s what I am missing here. I have a life but am I alive?

Not sure whether this is my memory alone or my imagination or a combo of both that makes me so nostalgic - I fear that upon reaching Bombay, whenever that is, I might go "Jesus is THIS what I was missing!" and my sundar bambaiyya sapna might tooto!!! :-)

blah

2005-12-21T15:39:00.000-05:00

bored.
sleepy.
eyes burning.
tad cold too.

is it xmas already?
cant decide whether i wanna do xmas or just bury myself under a blankee ...
one gift or ten?
chaddis or chamois?
music or musings?
rant or rife?
work or wallow?
so many choices ...
one tiny brain...

Libraries

2005-12-16T15:51:00.000-05:00

libraries... mmmm i have pleasant memories of libraries - studying, snoozing, reading random unrelated things and sometimes losing track of time in an old library with dusty shelves and ancient wood, really ageless fans that have maintained the same slow, almost hypnotic pace for eons.... sigh... libraries are fun..
during school i would pore over the craft and diy books, the fat volumes i could hardly even lift with my twiggy arms, but the contents of which i devoured, egg shells pictures, ice cream spoon puppets, egg carton chairs, i can even see the pictures in some of the books...
my mother would lament that if id spent even half the time buried in my textbooks, i might ve been a little ahead in the class than i was!
at dinner time, in the loo, walking home from the bus stop, IN the school bus, gosh i was deep into a book every where!
readers digest, enid blyton, richmal crompton( wrote these FAB books about a young english boy called william- hilarious), the odd nancy drews, pg wodehouse, some hitchcock, and hardy boys... and the random asterix and tintin and phantom and mandrake comics thrown in for good measure.
man am i glad i read.
those were library days these days i feed off blogs...

hope they dont get wiped out - the internet can only provide this much info and reading joy- getting transported to a different world, a different time is a talent the net lacks.

Baby burger - whats with the rip off?

2005-12-16T15:23:00.000-05:00

its unhealthy i know, and people say they have sawdust in the ground meat that sometimes can be rather yum - but whats with giving me a patty thats competing with a wafer?
the size jesus! if this is for adults whaddya serve kids?
fine i m talkin bout mickey ds, the home of the golden arches, mcdonalds, yeah those yellow ms you see every bloody where - mcdonalds mein hai kuch khaas( theres something about mcdonalds) in india and lovin it in the great north america
well i used to love it but not anymore... half cooked fries and semi raw ground ( is it really???)meat. the big mac i used to pride downing is just a disapointing stale bun with chewy fatty bits of some meat( duck skin maybe?) - an apology of a meal.
not so khaas anymore.

First day driving on the worst day to drive

2005-12-16T11:20:00.000-05:00

yup.
i did do it. drove alone though to most people even myself that's not a big deal- most of the time.
new license, new car, new winter and bloody snowy roads.
what a day to pick to make your solo debut on tronno's roads.
ya thats where im from - correction thats where i am, from bombay but this is not about my origins or dark background.
its about me and my new car and the worst day to experiment with your newly acquired driving skills. but i did it, drove about a hundred km in snowy weather at the awesome speed of 10kmph.
but i didn't kill anyone, didn't break any rules, the car's is still running, i think( touchwood!)
and i feel kickass!
getting wheels is a cool liberating thing.
lovin it!